


There Goes The Fool

by mizantropie



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: - kind of, Alfred tries to stop Joker from embarrassing Bruce, Batjokes, I mean the Joker rly likes Bruce's face, Kissing, M/M, Roleplay, also they kinda, don't look too much into it, for like 5 seconds, spoiler he fails, they are at a party ok, worshiping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 02:11:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13044324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizantropie/pseuds/mizantropie
Summary: “How about we entertain ourselves while waiting for pretty boy to come back, hmm?”





	There Goes The Fool

**Author's Note:**

> I've never thought I'll see myself writing fan fiction, but here we are.  
> If my English is weird in some places, sorry dudes. Third language and all that. 
> 
> The title is inspired by The Stone Roses. Cool dudes.

“Ah, just as a heads up, the rating of this story might go _up up up_ as we proceed. So…” He made sure to accentuate the last word more than it was necessary. “Cover your ears if you’re one of the prudes – _I mean it.”_ What followed were his lips curving upwards in a smile.

The people who unintentionally formed a circle around him weren’t sure how to react, so they responded by mirroring the smile. Some of them went as far as to throw quick glances at each other’s. No one dared to leave, though. It might have been out of politeness, or even curiosity.

The tabloids have presented Bruce Wayne’s newest lover as an eccentric young man, but the word itself wasn’t enough to describe the individual in front of them. He was handsome, so it wasn’t hard to see why somebody like Wayne would pick him as a lover. However, no one had expected the playboy billionaire to be dating a man. When asked about his sexual orientation, Bruce Wayne gave such vague answers, that no one could truly understand their meaning. It sounded like he was lecturing them. Eventually, he began to ignore those questions altogether.

A photograph of the two of them kissing has been floating around a lot recently. It appeared in numerous magazines with a variety of captions; from humorous to cruel: _“Bruce Wayne’s secret LOVER?”_ or _“Looks like women weren’t enough!”_ and even _“Who’s next on the list – Batman?”_ And so on. It was fascinating how creative they could be.

After such an interesting gossip, it was only natural for people to attend Wayne’s latest fundraiser party. Fair enough, a large part of Gotham’s elite came only to meet _him._ They were all prepared with witty remarks. For a while, however, they were under the impression the man of the hour wasn’t going to attend the party – at least, that’s what Wayne said. He apologized for the inconvenience, only to be interrupted by somebody laughing: it was the special guest himself. As ironic as it might sound, the most surprised person was Wayne. It felt like he didn’t want his partner to be there. He left quickly, without saying anything else.

“How about we entertain ourselves while waiting for pretty boy to come back, _hmm?”_

And that’s what they did.

The mysterious man was more charming than anyone expected him to be. He had some odd quirks – for example, licking his lips constantly – but they all decided he was nervous. And why wouldn’t he be? Nobody knew who he was until recently. Bruce was the reason for his presence at the party. He was a great storyteller; although the stories were bizarre. They all had some kind of morbid plot twist.

Their fun lasted for less than ten minutes.

“Excuse me.” Wayne didn’t forget about them. “May I borrow him for a bit?” The billionaire seemed to be less stressed than earlier. He caught the man by his wrist and began dragging him until they couldn’t be seen anymore.

Some of the guests were chuckling.

* * *

“What were you thinking?” Bruce would throw a glance behind them from time to time, only to make sure that no one was following the two of them down the hallway.

“You see, Brucie, that’s the thing! I, ah, wasn’t, in fact, thinking.” The whole thing seemed to amuse the Joker greatly. It wasn’t complicated to see why. It was all a game from his perspective.

“I told you not to come. You were supposed to be with Alfred.”

“Look, I know you like that butler of yours and all, but, ah, he’s kind of boring. I need to be entertained. Unfortunately, he couldn’t provide that, so I, uh, left. It’s pretty simple, right?”

“So your idea of entertainment is risking our identities.” It wasn’t a question. There was a hint of frustration in the man's tone. He didn’t seem to be angry, though; just tired.

“Yeah, that and homicide. Brucie, Brucie, Brucie, you’re underestimating my social skills. I’ve been told I’m quite charming. And you should know, better than anyone else that underestimating me is a dangerous thing. Right, _Batsy?”_

Bruce refused to scold him again – they weren’t children. They could pass the blame on each other all night long, and it wasn’t going to solve anything. Bruce went to Alfred right after noticing the Joker’s presence, and the old man apologized for not being able to stop him. Naturally, he understood him. The Joker managed to escape from places with a much higher security than an old butler. He only had himself to blame.

“Why are you making this harder than it already is?”

They’ve stopped walking.

“I’m sorry, are we talking about sex or the party?”

“Joker-“

“It was just a joke, Brucie. Relax a little, will you?”

Even though he was far from being done, Bruce pressed his back against the surface of the wall behind him, and let out a long sigh. It was only the two of them there, in the hallway. Usually, he wouldn’t know if he should feel at ease or not under those circumstances.

He did feel at ease.

“Come on, they _adore me.”_

“They are only curious about my so-called _love life._ It’s too risky.”

“It doesn’t make a difference. Besides, you seem to be enjoying this so far.”

“I’m not.”

He half-expected the man in front of him to respond with _Yes, you are,_ but the Joker picked a different strategy; without any hint of hesitation, he closed the distance between the two of them. Their chests were pressed together in a matter of seconds. Bruce could only stare at him, searching for the scars which were hidden behind layers of latex. If somebody gave him a marker, he would have been able to re-create them perfectly. The thought horrified him.

“Do you really want to play that game, Brucie?” The serious tone the Joker was using reminded Bruce of the position they were in.

“What else am I supposed to play?”

“Where’s your creativity? For a man who dresses up as a bat at night, you’d expect a variety of options. I hate it when you’re trying to be normal – _to fit in.”_

“Oh, look at me, being terrible.”

“Sweetheart, how should I, ah, put it- I’m the one with a sense of humour here. It’s kind of my thing by now, you know? ”

“Maybe you’re not doing such a good job.”

“How would you feel if I stole your place? Huh?” He was being playful once again; that made Bruce relax a little bit. It also gave him enough confidence to challenge the man in front of him.

“I’d love to see that happen.”

_Be careful what you wish for._ The Joker has never actually said those words, but Bruce read them. Their mouths were so close they could feel each other’s breath. It was more erotic than Bruce would care to admit. After a few seconds of nothing but silence, the Joker closed the distance between them again, and he pressed his lips against the corner of Bruce’s mouth. Instead of initiating a kiss, he decided to pay attention to the rest of the man’s face.

“Then, how about this:” Bruce’s cheek was warm against his lips. “I’m the young and handsome playboy billionaire. Ugh, that’s a long title. Don’t laugh! And you are my date for tonight. Are you following me? Good. You’re planning to seduce me and-”

“No, that’s not going to happen.”

“If I remember right, Alfred told me that interrupting somebody is considered quite rude. It seems like you skipped that lesson, huh?” The Joker was getting closer to his earlobe, before taking it in his mouth to lick it. Bruce forgot how to breathe for a moment.

“Maybe I’m not the good student you think I am.” Controlling his reactions became a difficult task. He wasn’t going to let him see that.

“Keep that fantasy in mind for another time. Let’s focus on this one for now.”

Bruce found himself rolling his eyes at the request, but didn’t say anything else. He accepted all the kisses, responding with a sigh once in a while. It felt good – he’d lie to himself if he said otherwise.

“I could have anyone in this city,” the Joker continued, taking a break from worshiping Bruce’s face; at least with his mouth. The man’s fingers were tracing the lines of his cheekbones; the same spots that were being kissed by his lips a moment ago. “And yet, I, insert long title here, picked you: some random pretty face that caught my interest.”

“How lucky am I.”

“I know, right? But,” he stopped from everything he was doing for a moment in order to look around him. “There’s a downside to it.” The Joker managed to fake worry so well that Bruce almost believed him; almost.

“And what would that be, if I may ask?”

“You know I’m a wanted man. That’s why you’re planning to convince me to let you in my bedroom for the night. You’ll kiss me until you’ll make sure I won’t be able to forget you; until that, ah, pretty face of yours will appear in front of me every single time I close my eyes. _I’ll go insane.”_

“That’s ironic.”

“Don’t be a smartass. Nobody likes them.”

“You do.”

“Touché, Brucie.”

“As much as I’d love to continue entertaining you – although your fantasies are beginning to worry me - we have to return. I honestly don’t need any more gossips.”

“I think it’s too late for that.” The Joker was being stubborn about it, and Bruce couldn’t stop himself from thinking it was adorable; from an odd point of view, obviously. It looked like he wasn't the only one playing with his sanity.

“Oh? And here I was, thinking you wanted this party to be over as soon as possible so we could continue our little game. But, I guess you’re not interested in that anymore.”

“It looks like the Bat is back.”

“That’s because he never left. He was just giving you a head start.”

“And that’s nice and all, but a different type of head would have been more appreciated, don’t you think so? I'm joking, calm down. That’s not a cute look, Brucie. Try to smile a little, how about that?”

“Let’s hope the guests won’t start interrogating us as soon as we get back.”

They did.


End file.
